Gifting Guide

Many consider "receiving gifts" as the lowest tier of the five love languages, maybe because it implies favoring material things over time, words, touch, acts of service… but I tend to think of it differently. Gifts often encompass some or all of those things. But to consider it this way, you have to understand “gift” as less a thing and more an action. 

In the spirit of that line of thinking, what follows is a “gifting guide” as opposed to a “gift guide” — some ideas to help us explore the verb form of “gift” and how that helps us understand “gifting” at its essence... 

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I’ve been asking friends methods for being a good gift-giver, and many of them echo back a similar idea in different ways…

Kevin says the essential ingredients are attention and time. The secret to being a good present-giver is simply to have notes for each special person in your life, and to add to it when you think of something for them, or when they tell you they want or need something. There’s not much more to it than that, he says.

This is similar to what Chino told me, which is that being a good gift-giver is like being a photographer. It’s a special lens or filter you have on your everyday experience, seeing everything through the possibility of gift-ability for someone special.

Omar laid it out in a stepwise fashion: Step 1. Have a gift recipient in mind. Step 2. Let some time pass. Step 3. Naturally, a gift (whether it be an item, experience, etc.) will appear.

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But what if you don’t have time? You started a bit late on gifts this year, or a birthday is coming up and you don’t have any ideas yet —

I’ve been wondering lately how one might exude generosity with every interaction — gifting at the root level. Even the way one speaks, the messages one sends, can be thought of through the lens of generosity. Simple texts and emails can feel like gifts. It’s the care and time someone took to address something to you specifically. And maybe they even included songs or recommendations for things you might like, or encapsulated some memories you had together in a simple but beautiful way…

When we began the Are.na Gift Shop, Meg shared how she loved receiving playlists for her birthday, “It’s that foresight, or the fact that someone has been thinking about you as they buy or make something.” I also like how playlists, although digital and “free,” take intentional effort and time when making them especially for one particular person.

Just like a text, email, or playlist can feel like a gift, we’ve been thinking about how other virtual communication methods could be gifts, too. Take an Are.na channel, which at its core is simply a collection of things. So as long as it’s considered thoughtfully and with care, it too can be a gift…

Almost a year ago, I created specific instructions on how one might do this:

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How to gift an Are.na Channel to someone

1) Create a new private channel

2) Fill the Are.na channel with the contents of the gift, however much or little is appropriate

Optional: In the channel's description or as a block itself, commemorate the gift with some context, perhaps with "To" and "From" fields, like the outside of a literal gift. Consider the channel's metadata the "gift wrap."

3) On the channel page, click "More" next to the "Connect" button. Select "Edit." Then, scroll down and click "Transfer Ownership." Search for the recipient's name. Select them and press "Save" at the bottom.

4) You should be notified (via email) when your recipient accepts your gift. The channel is now theirs and no longer yours.

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While it’s a bit technical, I love that in “transferring ownership” of your channel, you no longer have a copy of the gift yourself. As we know, this is not the default for most things digital, as typically everyone has a copy simply because duplication is easy.

This reminds me of something my friend Taichi Wi once wrote in a publication we made called The Lift and Death of an Internet Onion —

On the digital cloud … photos, chat logs, and email threads of the past are preserved by default, and the process of forgetting doesn't start until I delete a file or account. I don't need to remember anything for anyone, and no one has to remember anything for me. Looking through an ever-growing past on the cloud is fun, but I wonder if I've been depending too much on the automatic memory of digital love. It could be nice to try to remember love more on my own, or split it between me and others.

I think that handwriting a letter forces me to do this, because I'm sending away the only copy of my message. I can't look at it again. My friend holds onto that part of my memory, and if she replies, I'll hold onto hers. Similarly, I want a button that says "Send the only one." If I could send a photo or a text or a sound while deleting my own copy, I might treat those signals more preciously. Maybe I'd even feel myself spread out into the tinier cloud between every two people.

As an extension of this way of thinking about an Are.na channel as a gift, we decided to put on a workshop (happening at 10am PST, 1pm EST, and 7pm CET on Saturday, December 21, 2024 virtually on Zoom) to experiment with making some together. Ahead of the workshop, I've been thinking about a prompt or a primer for participants, though this can be used by anybody.

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Here are some specific ways to consider your Are.na Channel as a gift:

Step 1. Choose someone specific to gift

Step 2. Start a private channel. In this channel, compile your gift. 

Some starter ideas:

• Collect things you think they would like:

  • Playlist (music)

  • Reader (texts)

  • …

• Compile a memory capsule of the past year with this person. Include photos, screenshots, texts (or just choose one). If these memories are associated with a particular date, include that if you’d like.

• (If you have any good starter formats, please add them here.)

Step 3. Finish and send your gift, as outlined here.

The linked instructions assume your recipient is also on Are.na. But if they’re not on Are.na (which isn’t ideal, but it happens), you have a couple options. First, you could make your gift physical in some way — for instance, if you make someone a reader, you can simply print the texts out and compile them nicely in a folder or binder. You could even use print.are.na, a tool for making books out of Are.na Channels. (Zoomed out, you could consider Are.na simply your tool for making something physical.) Or (/in addition), you could generate a “share link” of your private channel by going to “More” in the top right of your Channel, and then “Generate Share Link.” Copy this link and send it to your recipient in a thoughtful way. Maybe you even send it to them physically in the mail, as that way your recipient “has the only one.”

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For the workshop, we are currently at capacity, but please feel free to use this post as a guide in compiling your own Are.na channel as a gift, along with “Are.na Channel as Gift” channel which includes references to most things mentioned here. And on your way out, would you mind gifting a song to our Gifting Energy playlist? Thank you, and happy holidays and new year to you!

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Led by Laurel Schwulst (artist, designer, educator) who has taught at Princeton, Yale, and Fruitful School. She also began the Are.na Gift Shop and continues to explore what makes a good gift.

Facilitated by Meg Miller, director of Are.na Editorial.